@FlyJ_: My kid started doing this annoying preteen whiny voice and now I can turn my head all the way around like the exorcist.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@MartinMurtagh: Laying in bed with the wife last night, she asked "what would you like to do most to my body?""identify it" probably wasnt the right answer
@slimmy_shady: MARRIAGE PROTIP - Guys, if you have a picture of your junk on your phone, you better be sure your wife has a copy of it on hers. Good talk.
@kendragaylord: [Whole Foods] Woman: MY COCONUT WATER BROKE! *I drive her to the hospital and she names her first coconut after me*