@mommy_cusses: My kid sure is great at picking up Easter eggs for someone who suffers arm paralysis whenever I ask him to clean up his toys.
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@jakob_huber: Pouring a bucket of white marbles into the hippo pen will result in a lifetime ban from the zoo no matter how hungry they looked.
@drewtoothpaste: Get a big metal box, label it "TIME CAPSULE" and take a big dump in it so people know what 2011 was like.
@: iPhone neeeeeds an update where an incoming call doesn’t take up the whole screen so you can do other things while you’re ignoring a call
@KateWhineHall: Just finished up some dusting. And by dusting I mean I blew on a shelf and then sneezed 6 times in a row.