@iwearaonesie: My kid talks a lot of shit for someone who bites his finger whenever he eats fries
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@ceejoyner: The other guy on this cliff screaming at the sky just threw his wedding ring over which makes me feel less bad about losing my kite.
@karentozzi: Welcome to middle age, here's your card. You'll now have a favorite local weatherman and your elbows will never be pointy again.
@Manda_like_wine: Well, son, when a man loves a woman very much he expresses that love by slowly transforming into a human sloth.