@iwearaonesie: My kid talks a lot of shit for someone who bites his finger whenever he eats fries
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@LuckoftheDraw86: I'm gonna date the first guy to come out of this "Free STD Screenings!" van. #goodplan
@weinerdog4life: Yes hello 911, I put a smaller microwave inside a bigger microwave and now there's a wormhole in my kitchen
@SondraDeeMe: By the nervous look on his face I thought my boyfriend had an engagement ring hidden in his hand but it was just a stranger's bra. Whew.