@SirEviscerate: My kid threatened to hold her breath until I gave her dessert. Now she's a pearl diver in the Philippines & can afford her own damn dessert.
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@CrystalTheRed: Laundry Day Me: Tell me about this lipstick on your shirt. Him: Babe, I can explain! Me: Don't care. Just ask her the brand and shade name.
@josswhedon: Wait, women get the WHOLE DAY? Is that in every country? It's night where I am is it over can it be about me again