@SirEviscerate: My kid threatened to hold her breath until I gave her dessert. Now she's a pearl diver in the Philippines & can afford her own damn dessert.
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@jwoodham: Every time I go for a run I think "why am I even doing this?" Then I look back and see all the cops chasing me and it's like "oh yeah, duh."
@_NinJar: G: Grandma (completely safe watch with grandma) PG: Partial Grandma (slightly awkward) PG13: 13 or more cusses (very awkward) R: NO grandmas