@MyHairyLife: My kid wanted juice but I gave him water which he promptly turned into whine.
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@CMFC99: Eventually you're going to achieve self awareness in a padded cell, staring at your palm, realizing twitter was just all your personalities
@RorynotRoy: It's annoying how mirrors are always all like, "Hey, c'mere. I wanna show you something gross about you."
@jonnysun: PSYCHOLOGIST: [holding up inkblot] wat do u see ME: a outdated discredited method with no scientific backing PSYCHOLOGIST: [starts sweating]