@nigelgodwin: My kids are always accusing me of having a favorite child which is ridiculous because I don't really like any of them
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@fro_vo: dave: dave's coming over dave: dave from work or dave who talks to himself dave: no one's coming over dave
@shkeeber: Me: *passes ransom note* Mom: 2 bags of unmarked cookies? Me: Or you'll never see the cat alive! Mom: He's behind you. Me: STUPID KITTY!
@noogscorner: Luke, I am your father. Man you should see your face right now. It's all like waaaaaat no way.
@Playing_Dad: Daughter: Daddy, why do you have to go to work everyday? Me: Do you like clothes? Daughter: Not really Me: Shut up