@DannyZuker: My kids are always accusing me of having a "favorite child" which is ridiculous because I don't really like any of them.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@FlyJ_: I almost crashed into the semi in front of me while I was looking at a hot construction worker. That would've been an embarrassing obituary.
@MissBamantha: Boyfriend Test: Sour Skittles in one hand. Peanut Butter M&Ms in the other. Which do you choose? WRONG. Neither. Don't ever take my candy.
@theshamingofjay: The Walmart app just updated on my phone and now water autocorrects to soda and exercise autocorrects to Doritos and beer.