@ImKevinito: My kids are going to be so disappointed when they figure out peer pressure is a myth and they have to actually pay for drugs in high school.
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@frankzulla: "How do you talk to an angel" Me: I don't know, Skype I guess? "How do you hold her close to where you are" Me: Aren't most angels men?
@TheMichaelRock: Kanye West compared his relationship with Kim Kardashian to Romeo and Juliet. So we won't have to deal with them too much longer, you guys.
@ComedicBust: "These diet pills better work," I say to myself as I wash them down with a chocolate milkshake.