@shimmala: My kids are gonna be super disappointed when they find out sweet talk involves no exchange of tangible confectionary goods.
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@GrantTanaka: *races to airport *hurdles though security *sees her at boarding gate *shouts her name *romantic music swells I RAN OVER YOUR CAT
@Pauly_Miller: If you ever doubt the value of writers, just follow your favorite actor on Twitter.
@TwatWaffler69: Wife wants to hang pictures of our kids in the bathroom. Like they don't already spend enough time in there with us.
@PunkHistory: "You gotta keep 'em separated!" -the dude from the Offspring whenever he's doing laundry.