@1800Randy: My kids are playing cowboys and Indians. One is pretending to ride a horse and shoot stuff, the other is providing tech support.
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@JennyJohnsonHi5: If the Discovery Channel's new show 'Naked And Afraid' isn't about Mormon honeymoons, I'm not interested.
@moose_chocolate: My daughter asked me what it was like when I was a kid, so I took away all her electronics and made her play with a Rubik's cube.
@1NTERCEPTOR_: When they were saying "we will find a good home for him" I thought they were talking about the dog,I didn't know they were talking about me!
@thejamietighe: Boss: Why is there an olive in your water? Me: What water? Oh yeah this, this is definitely water.