@1800Randy: My kids are playing cowboys and Indians. One is pretending to ride a horse and shoot stuff, the other is providing tech support.
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@LennoxTruman: No mom I won't go to "night school," I already get what night is, it's that bullshit thing where the sun turns into the moon for a few hours
@ericsshadow: "Stop texting me. If I wanted to go on the second date, I wouldn't have stolen all your jewelry."