@whereami18: My kids are really competing for least favorite today.
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@sexualjumanji: my girl 7'9 we got in a fight last night she put my car keys in a birds nest in a tree i cant reach them please help me
@_NTFG_: I party like a Rockstar. A very poor Rockstar who isn't in a band anymore and starts yawning by 9pm and just wants to be home drinking tea.
@Ophelia_808: [stunned, eyes lock, a smile exchanged, and I knew it was kismet] *hands cash to lady Ma'am my baby isn't for sale. I SAID I'LL TAKE TWO!!
@ItsAndyRyan: The English language lacks a word to mean "To make a spouse feel uncomfortable by aggressively cleaning the house around them".