@whereami18: My kids are really competing for least favorite today.
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@thatdutchperson: "No points, illegal kick to the face." "But I'm the hero of this movie." "Fair enough, here's your trophy." -The Karate Kid
@truegritrumble: ME: *pulling up my pants* What's the prognosis, Doc? DOCTOR: You've got cancer. ME: WHAT?! DOCTOR: Haha. Jk. I'm not a doctor.
@awescar: If you want to hide a gift for your husband, just put it in the pantry with one thing in front of it.