@TwoSapphiresBlu: My kids are teenagers, and I've found the same thing fixes their bad moods as when they were toddlers: a snack and a nap.
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@melpraktis: When people say "You look so familiar" responding with "Were we in prison together?" is almost always a conversation killer.
@BuckyIsotope: *jumps out of plane* *begins reading parachute instruction manual* STEP 1: PUT ON PARACHUTE *looks up* Well hell
@SadieSkyNinja: Sorry that I took a picture of my armpit and tried to pass it off as my thigh gap.
@lloydrang: The New York Post publishes rumours about Dwayne Johnson. He sues for defamation and wins. Rock beats paper. And the crowd goes wild.