@BradBroaddus: My kids are very optimistic. Every glass they leave sitting around the house is at least half full.
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@ThatBrenna: West Side Story gave me the wrong impression. No one at this gang fight is a good dancer and I've been shot in the arm.
@deardilettante: The only good thing about people who wear too much cologne is that they're easier to set on fire.
@dubstep4dads: ZOMBIE 1: why do we eat brains? ZOMBIE 2: because. It's food for thought! haha ZOMBIE 1: [sigh]
@wwwdotben: It's 3000 AD. Everything is fleek. President Updog has dissolved congress. Women make 700x what men do. I'm still writing 2014 on my checks.