@HRTSMRT: My kids can be difficult sometimes, but my mom always assures me that I deserve it.
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@eye_spyder: You hear about that roman ruler who found the fountain of youth? Emperor constant teen.
@PaperWash: [death row] Guard: alright tough guy one last meal Me: a cyanide pill Guard: what? no we want to kill you! Me: too bad Guard: aw man
@rolldiggity: A fun prank if your roommate is a cartoon character is to draw clothes on the mirror so he leaves the house not realizing he's naked.