@dshack8: My kids can't hear the dog barking for 15mins to come back inside but they can hear me bite into a Pop-Tart from 3 counties away.
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@TheFearBoners: When God closes a door, He opens a window. God does not give a shit about your electric bill.
@GrantTanaka: My wife & I play this sexy game where she dresses up like a schoolgirl, then I dress up like a schoolgirl then we sit down & learn fractions
@KentWGraham: If you want to know how I rate in our household, my wife has one term of endearment for me and 74 for our dog.