@LibelousLurker: My kids can't play at your house because they might begin to think laundry doesn't live on the couch.
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@bombsydoll: me: I know it's over, but can I have one last hug? Please? Him: *moves closer. stops & sniffs* omg are you covered in superglue?
@Mish3l_Ali: Girls can be so ungrateful, I made her breakfast in bed, & instead of saying "Thank You", she's all like "How did you get into my house!"
@robfee: Paper towel ads always show kids making huge messes then mom smiles & cleans it up. My mom would've handed me a mop then beat me with a belt
@HatfieldAnne: Shouting “wahoo” instead of “woo-hoo” so everyone in this bar knows that I'm into fun AND sport fishing.