@whereami18: My kids decided to move a piece of furniture to a random spot, I wonder how much it will cost to fix whatever they're covering up
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@XplodingUnicorn: My kids challenged me to a cartwheel contest. Long story short, now my chiropractor has a new boat.
@abhorrent_wife: Please, baseball fans. Enthrall me with complex details about a game where someone hits the ball with a stick and runs around in a circle.
@hurlarious: I like to leave my gas cap hanging off when I'm on a date so when people start honking and waving I can wave back like I'm famous