@gerryhallcomedy: My kids don't believe that before video games, we used to have to go out and buy a hedgehog, paint it blue, then give it cocaine.
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@bingowings14: Someone claimed that their dog could retrieve a ball from up to a mile away, sounds a bit far fetched to me.
@Abusitron: Minister: if anyone objects to this unio- Me: *raptor call* Groom: *raptor call* Guests: *chorus of raptor calls* *Bride gets devoured*
@XplodingUnicorn: My 4-year-old sang in church for the first time. So what if it was the wrong song? There's never a bad time for "We Will Rock You."