@redthe1: My kids don't even know they have a grandma that gives them $100 on their birthdays
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@DevilryFun: Interviewer: We offer great benefits. Me: Can I take my two weeks vacation before I start?
@QueefTornado: Me: This chicken is undercooked. Wife: You don't appreciate my cooking. Me: I think the vet could save it if it we took it right now.
@bourgeoisalien: When I die, I'm donating my body to the theater department. Any jerk could donate their body to science. I can't wait to be a theater prop.