@patnelke: My kids have voted, and the results are in. It's official, I've been elected the President of Empty Threats.
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@TheTalkingPipe: Fish must be excellent drivers. Very rarely do you hear about fish getting into car accidents.
@TheMichaelRock: I always bring in a dozen donuts to work the first day after the New Year, just for my coworkers on a diet.
@thelaurenobrien: How many times did people question the honesty of Shakira's hips before she finally decided to defend them in a song?