@mylifesuckers: My kids just connected worlds in Minecraft. So now they can fight in a virtual universe too.
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@murrman5: is your name melissa? "yes" are you married? "to you sadly" yes or no please "yes" do you like the lie detector I bought for your birthday?
@XoMiSsYoX: Told my coworker to shut up or I would slash his tires. He laughed, I laughed. Now I'm by his car with a knife and I can hear sirens. :(
@Smooheed: Standing behind a hot guy on a treadmill saying 'don't worry baby, I'll catch you if you fall' makes him run for a really really long time
@bransonbranson: *puts on satin, full length pajamas for men, slips into bed* yes... time to text some girls the word 'hey' and only the word 'hey'