@LurkAtHomeMom: My kids just introduced themselves as "Let's Go" and "We're Late"
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@daemonic3: [at Waldo's trial] Judge: Jury, how do you find the defendant? Jury: We the jury find the defendant by looking in the top left of the page
@itswrigley: I never did think of myself as beautiful, terribly attractive, yes, but not beautiful.
@StrugglesBGbb: My mom told me today that she is surprised I don't have a cat. I told her I was surprised she has a husband.
@Mr_Kapowski: The best part of Pitbull is he yells out "MR WORLDWIDE!," at the beginning of each of his songs, giving you ample time to change the station