@UnfilteredMama: My kids never finish their dinner because they're saving room for bath water.
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@JohnsonDiaz21: In college I had 3 girlfriends at the same time. 10 years and a wife later, I have 0 girlfriends. Stay in school kids.
@mess_of_petals: [My relationship with TV] There's nothing on. *watches nothing for the next six hours.
@causticbob: Kissing the back of someone's neck is a sensuous thing to do. Unless it's a stranger in a queue in Primark.
@KatieBurnett: Do people who happily announce their pregnancy know they are going to be stuck with a baby afterwards?