@mommajessiec: My kids started calling me boss today, so now I have the painful task of figuring out which one I’m going to have to let go.
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@Cravin4: Son:Dad's trick or treating as a ghost in a bed sheet? Wife:& heels,eye patch & his hand stuck in a Nutella jar. More like a ghost on ambien
@TheAlexP: [at bank] Samuel L Jackson turning in swear jar: I need a bank check to buy Rhode Island
@SadMeterologist: HER: Shake what your momma gave you! ME: *Tosses around crippling anxiety and male pattern baldness*
@ScorpionDong: Holy crap! This guy in the car next to me is absolutely losing his shit over "My Heart Will Go On"...said the guy in the car next to me