@sarcasticmommy4: My kids sure do make a lot of plans for being people who don't know how to drive themselves anywhere.
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@theshamingofjay: TRUMP: I'm building a wall to keep Mexicans out. AMERICANS: I'm going to Canada if Trump is elected. CANADIANS: We need to build a wall.
@KyleMcDowell86: DATING TIP: IF YOU EAT A MAGNET AND SLIP ANOTHER MAGNET INTO YOUR DATE'S DINNER SHE'LL NEVER BE ABLE TO LEAVE YOU
@Screwoff315: I'm tired of this long distance relationship! Time to move the liquor cabinet to the living room!