@mishakey: My kid's teacher told me my kid is obsessed with video games and that I need to work with her on it. I'm like I do. I'm player 2.
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@mynameshank: Super productive day, I took down all of my neighbor's outdoor Christmas decorations.
@ch000ch: woops did i leave both of my bowling trophies in my hands during sex again that's embarrassing
@beardofprey: last night my dog shit on the floor then at some point the Roomba came and smeared it all over the house :D
@SteveKoehler22: I got fired from my job as a diesel fitter in a panties factory. We would hold the panties up, inspect them and say "Dese'll fit her"