@daddydoubts: My kids teeth are harder than my forehead and no I would not like to elaborate.
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@Tmoney68: In hell, it's always the last minute of a staff meeting and someone raises his hand for "one more quick question."
@kelkulus: The American flags on the moon have been bleached white from 44 years of solar radiation. If aliens ever attack, we've already surrendered.
@LittleMissAngr1: Me: *dripping in sweat and covered in scratches* You should see the other guy! [Camera pans slowly to sports bra crumpled on the floor]
@leshnevsky: Scars make a man handsome? Bathe your cat every day and you'll become the sexiest man in the city very soon!