@DistractedMomma: My kids use all the toilet paper, dictate when I sleep and eat, and destroy everything I own. My house is its own little communist country.
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@werehedgehog: Don't go chasing waterfalls. *turns on tap* We have their children. They will come to us.
@matt___nelson: Nepal: "just like awkwardly stack two triangles to make our flag" All the other countries have rectangles "TWO TRIANGLES" Alright ok fine
@huntigula: [Anteater eats some termites] [looks up to heaven] "YOU DON'T CONTROL ME, GOD! YOU HEAR ME? I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU NAMED ME!"