@DistractedMomma: My kids use all the toilet paper, dictate when I sleep and eat, and destroy everything I own. My house is its own little communist country.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@TheRobCee: [Taylor Swift on toilet, going #2. Kanye jumps out of her shower] "Yo, Taylor- I'm really happy for you & I'm-a let you finish, but..."
@MartaEffing: [breakup talk] H: Gimme one last chance! M: How can I trust you again? H: She meant nothing to me! M: Not that. You bought lite sour cream!
@Tmoney68: [Courtroom] Judge: One more word & I'll hold you in contempt! Me: Yes! *jumps on his lap & throws arms around him* This is nice.