@MmeSurly: My kids wouldn't stop asking me who my favorite is so I said the dog & now they're crying and I'm like THIS IS WHY THE DOG IS MY FAVORITE.
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@jonnysun: GOD: [reviewing solar system] hmm… i'll give it 5 stars EARTH: [imediately starts screamig due to masive gravitational pull of 4 new stars]
@chaseisangry: Concept: The Purge but it's 24 hours where retail workers are as rude as they want "Do u have a bathroom?" "No we shit outside like bears"
@Playing_Dad: Me:*delete pics* IPhone: you sure? M:Yes IP: Ok I'll just put them over here Me:delete them IP: Ok *whispers* keeping them on the cloud tho