@MmeSurly: My kids wouldn't stop asking me who my favorite is so I said the dog & now they're crying and I'm like THIS IS WHY THE DOG IS MY FAVORITE.
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@Dawn_M_: It is completely unreasonable that family members are expecting me to remember things like what the names of their kids are. Preposterous.
@liliths_lair: The real reason women will never be the ones to propose: As soon as she gets on her knees, he will start unzipping his pants.
@Twitmytweeties: "Snitches get stitches" Cute little rhyme.. However I believe, "Snitches never wake up again" is more likely to deter snitching...