@SchooIAnswer: my kind of answer 😭😂
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@UncleDuke1969: ME: *dies* DEATH: Welcome to the afterlife. ME: How do I get to Heaven? DEATH: *points* Go up those stairs. ME: What about Hell? DEATH: *points* Go down those stairs. ME: And Limbo? DEATH: *points* Just duck under that bar.
@AristotlesNZ: Me: Baby-proofed the house like you wanted Wife: Ya? Me: Ya. Locks, fence, barbed wire, the works Her:.. Me: No way a baby's gettin in here.
@ianabramson: When you compare the size of a gummy worm versus a gummy bear, it starts to paint a horrific picture of the gummy universe.
@MikeDrucker: I don't understand why everyone is so passionate about sports; it's all just bullsh - HEY! YOU! NO! DARTH VADER DOES NOT HAVE A GREEN SABER!