@RtrJan: My kitchen drawer was stuck but my husband got it open. I guess all it needed was a big jerk.
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@JermHimselfish: My doctor told me my testosterone level was unusually high. At least that's what I think he said, I could hardly hear him over the chainsaw.
@notacroc: [Preschool] Teacher: aw what's this little guy's name? [Simultaneously] Me: laser panther Wife: Jacob
@causticbob: Leonardo Dicaprio has addressed the UN about climate change. Well if anyone should know about the dangers of melting icebergs, it's him!
@hipchkk: Apparently, some parents are not appreciative of a sweet super supportive air horn during a children's piano recital.