@RtrJan: My kitchen drawer was stuck but my husband got it open. I guess all it needed was a big jerk.
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@jakob_huber: Hi, I'd like to order a baby "Excuse me?" It says here you deliver babies? "Sir this is a hospital" [vampire quickly hangs up phone]
@LizzieEMB: Turns out when you're a grown up, you CAN do anything you want, you just have to deal with the fallout... *pizza dough plops on head*
@BriarSlyMalice: I told my kids I'd rather they "pull the plug" than let me live in a vegetative state dependent on machines. So they hid my phone charger.