@Gooooats: My kitten is probably the most playful creature on the planet, but it's less cute when you realize it's all just bird murder practice.
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@madcaplaughs30: I hope this magician is good [curtain rises to reveal a man with no goatee] get your coats, children. that man is a fraud.
@robfee: ♫ Cause the players gonna play play play The haters gonna hate hate hate Baby Im just gonna bottle it all up & develop severe trust issues ♫
@moose_chocolate: Fox has cancelled American Idol. From Now on, if I want to listen to bad music, I'll have to listen to Pitbull just like everyone else.
@iAmDelFreaky: Me: So, hypothetically speaking, if we were dating would I get any free food? Her: Uh, excuse me? Me: *sigh* #1 combo with cheese, please.