@Gooooats: My kitten is probably the most playful creature on the planet, but it's less cute when you realize it's all just bird murder practice.
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@Marlebean: They say guys who drive tiny sports cars are trying to over-compensate... *walks up to guy in minivan* "Sup?"
@PaperWash: me: you wanna hot line bling? date: what? me: *sweating nervously* Netflix and chill? date: excuse me me: *looking at notecards* BAE?!
@DelilahSDawson: exec: So what do we think women want in fashion? women: Pocke-- exec: Cold shoulder tops in pastels. Got it. women: Pock-- exec: Clothes with pre-made holes in delicate fabrics. women: Po-- exec: Cut-outs in flabby areas. Good. women: POCKET-- exec: Shapes that require new bras!