@KimMonte10: My lasagna just took a picture of me and posted it on Instagram
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@forcemajeure40: Apparently when I'm at Olive Garden I'm family. So why did they call the cops when I left without paying? My family never makes me pay.
@curlycomedy: I like when players of opposite teams hug after the game as if to say, "We're all so very, very rich."
@clindsaysway: When no one stars a tweet, I tell myself it was probably appreciated by hundreds of shy people.