@KimMonte10: My lasagna just took a picture of me and posted it on Instagram
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@simoncholland: I just want to be rich enough that I don't have to watch DIY videos on YouTube every time something in my house breaks.
@Maui_Speaks: I can deal with many things. Intolerance. Hate. But if I can't find the right lid for the Tupperware in five minutes, some one will pay.
@isabelzawtun: Bursting from my chair, I pound a fist on the boardroom table. Everyone's gasps turn to cheers as I lift my hand to reveal the dead mosquito