@OBiiieeee: my last girlfriend broke up wth me after she went through my phone and i refused to tell her why i searched for goth grandpas
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@JennyJohnsonHi5: This woman got so offended when I asked if I could pet her son, like I'm the one who put him on a leash.
@AimeeHelene1: I vacuumed up a huge spiderweb & then heard a thump in the workout room. The spiders are lifting weights before they attack me aren't they?
@YesImMatt: When people's driving tweets end mid sentence, did the paramedics find their phone and hit send?