@TheTweetOfGod: My last name is Zilla.
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@Playing_Dad: [Job Interview] Boss: It says you are a great problem solver Me: Yes B: Can you give me an example? Me: I'm hired B: *whispers* holy shit
@SortaBad: Taco Bell manager: I'm sorry, you didn't get the job. It's your drug test Me: so you mean... Manager: yes, you passed. Get high & re-apply
@eeethanford: But I would walk 500 miles and I would walk 500 more to be the man who walked 1000 miles to get away from you. I want a divorce.