@MrMichaelRose: my lawyer wants me to turn myself into the police but I keep telling him impersonating a cop is what got me into trouble in the first place
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@spacej_me: Some people have sex to make a baby but I prefer the old fashioned way of capturing a wild baby, and that's how I ended up in jail
@HeidiCF8: Making everyone happy is impossible. But pissing them off is a piece of cake. I like cake.
@ninjadinosaur1: If I had a twin, whenever someone asked which one of us was older, I'd tell them that we both came out at the exact same time.