@sammyrhodes: My leg brushed against the toilet in a Starbucks bathroom. Goodbye leg. You were a good leg.
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@kelkulus: Until you've tried to start a conga line at a funeral, don't tell me about your drinking problem.
@darinlovesbacon: Do you single people want to know what marriage is like? Imagine having an argument in 1993 and talking about it once a week until you die
@WordsOfaHooker: Can't believe the Obama 2012 campaign isn't using the slogan "Once you go black, you don't go back."
@GaryJanetti: Thinking of adopting a child. What color should I get? Keep in mind my walls are eggshell and cinnamon.