@Mr_Role_Model: My License to Kill was revoked due to abuse of power.
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@TheToxicWaster: My wife said she wants a divorce for valentines day. I wasn't planning to spend that much..
@LuvPug: I'm tired and want to sleep, but I can't stop imagining how the whole scenario of the first person to pee on a jellyfish sting went down
@sickipediabot: Mesut Ozil was quoted as saying "I want to help Arsenal win trophies." So when does the rest of the Real Madrid squad arrive with you?
@Parentpains: Name your child autocorrect, because eventually they'll just finish your sentences and correct you every chance they get too.