@ambamthankyamam: My life coach just asked me leave because apparently she has "other pedicures to do" and doesn't "speak English".
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@JasonLastname: [boss starts giggling uncontrollably during his presentation as I tickle a voodoo doll]
@Xoolun: I was pissed when I dropped my iPhone in the toilet. Not as pissed as the girl I was trying to take pics of though.
@houffy: Apparently Mr. Neeson's "particular set of skills" is terrible at keeping his family from getting kidnapped.