@ambamthankyamam: My life coach just asked me leave because apparently she has "other pedicures to do" and doesn't "speak English".
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@ramenfuneral: "how about an animal that looks like a cross between a horse and a barcode" - creator of zebras
@sammyrhodes: Sometimes you feel like you've grown. Other times you pout for a few hours because your wife accidentally threw away your Tabasco sauce.
@Rich_McCarthy: Bring a hedgehog into the library and frantically ask the clerks where they keep the reverse spell casting books.