@drunktweets81: My life is like a beautiful piece of furniture from IKEA. Once I figure out how to put it all together, I may get to actually enjoy it.
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@InternetHippo: superhero movie: this already insanely hot person discovers they have numerous additional gifts me: this is relatable as hell
@rolldiggity: 1. Cover elevator floor with glue. 2. Put ring on floor. 3. Wait for someone to kneel and get stuck. 4. "Yes, yes, a thousand times yes!"
@ojedge: Van Gogh: "Dude, I saw this hella vase of sunflowers today." Gauguin: "Pics, or it didn't happen." [van gogh pulls out oil paints & easel]