@GrowlyGrego: My little old fish didn't move around in her bowl all day. i thought she was dead but it turns out she was just going through minnow pause.
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@EndhooS: Morpheus: You're The One Neo Neo: You're sure? M: I've known for some time N: *leans in for the kiss* M: WHOA, that's not what I meant bro..
@Parkerlawyer: My internet has been out for 24 hours and now my kids are moving out. That was easy.
@bad_as_you_want: Found my 16yr old daughters Twitter today, made her deactivate it...after I copied all of her best material to my draft folder of course
@IamEnidColeslaw: if we know your religion, stance on gun control & how many kids you have just by looking at your car, you have way too many bumper stickers