@GrowlyGrego: My little old fish didn't move around in her bowl all day. i thought she was dead but it turns out she was just going through minnow pause.
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@TheMichaelRock: It's difficult to be romantic when your dog always eats the trail of McNuggets leading to the bedroom.
@brockwilbur: My fav sci-fi this year is the Bank of America ad where the 30 year old dude with a new baby has $56k in his checking account.
@RandomManik: Every crime show turns into sitcom when the cops bring the husband for questioning and he asks, "Why would anyone want to kill their wife?"