@ChuckGrassley: My local steak house serves nothing but vegetarian bc cows are vegetarian
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@NaeemHoosain: 1. Sits in the bedroom 2. Doesn't leave the house 3. Doesn't go out with freinds My childhood punishments are my adult hobies 😎
@x_xaima: When you go to the movies first thing you need to do is pour a drink in the seat in front of you so nobody can sit there..
@OffTheHutch: "So send me a picture of you..." *sends* "Look I need to leave very abruptly and extremely forever."
@Vice_Queen: [Me flirting with a twenty something] Him: When last did you get lit? Me: This morning. It was really sunny so I was well illuminated.