@ChuckGrassley: My local steak house serves nothing but vegetarian bc cows are vegetarian
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@ArfMeasures: MAGICIAN: Now the woman is in the box, I will saw her in half! EVERYONE: *gasps* ME *whispers to wife* ok you were right, a magician at a funeral is weird
@KateWouldHaveIt: Before you ask me to proofread anything, know that I spent 30 years thinking "FAQs" was short for "Facts".
@marinhubka: Shoe repair guy: so what happened? [cut to me trying to flush myself into the Ministry of Magic from my toilet] Me: I stepped in a..puddle