@SufficientCharm: My man wants me to understand him better so I'm not getting my mustache waxed this month.
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@InternetHippo: ME: *falls in love only w/ people who are mean to me* Why does this keep happening [flashback] GOD: *points to me* Make that one an idiot
@iwearaonesie: the dog ran into a fence chasing a squirrel. she doesn't look anything like me but she's mine. i can tell
@TitansHomer: Guess what! Some blacks don't like whites, some whites don't like blacks! And nobody likes Mexicans! Big deal! Who cares!
@dafloydsta: I lost my job today "What? How?" I just wasn't a good housekeeper "BUT YOU'RE A BEEKEEPER" Well that explains all the screaming