@DONTJIMMYMEJULZ: My Masseuse just read 'Cinderella' to me ~ That's the last time I ask for a happy ending.
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@shutupmikeginn: "Are you already hot as shit? Then you'll look hot as shit in our glasses" - Every glasses ad
@sarcasticmommy4: Anyone know a Minecraft interpreter? I don't understand my son's Christmas list.
@daemonic3: To whoever has my voodoo doll, can you stop making me stare at my phone all day? This isn't funny. I just want to live life again.