@timdonakowski: My master plan is to forget sunglasses at every location in the world so wherever I am I’ll always have sunglasses.
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@ch000ch: if i ever go missing please don't use that photo of me holding a sign that says "if i ever go missing don't look for me." thanks
@Sophie2078: Auto correct changed naughty with nausea and it was the best decision i ever made in this relationship.
@ChipKellysBalls: WebMD is a Choose Your Own Adventure book where every single story ends in malignant cancer
@Thynebear: Psychopaths make up about 1% of the US population. Exposing them is easy, just text your friends & check who has their read receipts on.