@timdonakowski: My master plan is to forget sunglasses at every location in the world so wherever I am I’ll always have sunglasses.
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@kumailn: Donald Sterling saying racism is not a problem is like mosquitoes saying malaria is not a problem.
@GlennWool: when the news anchor says "if you know anything about the crime please contact police" dont call the police and re-tell the news story
@murrman5: is your name melissa? "yes" are you married? "to you sadly" yes or no please "yes" do you like the lie detector I bought for your birthday?