@bracealmighty: My mate called me an idiot for always getting my idioms wrong but it takes one to know someone.
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@DrDogMD: PATIENT: How tough was medical school for a dog like you? DR DOG: *thinking back on all the homework he ate* It wasn't easy
@WilliamAder: Glad I'm not a general, because auto-correct just changed "lunch order" to "launch order."
@krishna_van: "Give me a positive adjective..." "Splendid." "Nice. Now how about a negative adjective?" "Splendidn't."
@tigersgoroooar: Teeth are so weird. Imagine if all of our bones were exposed and we had to brush them.