@d_whitehouse: My Mexican friend is lactose intolerant. No whey Jose.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@cbdoubleu: *raises the bar 16 yrs later] Bar: even though you weren't my real father I always wanted to call you, dad. Dad. *me trying not to cry
@mattZillaaaa: I just sent a screen shot of my drunken tweets to my friends & they are still asking if I can come pick them up
@DevilryFun: Went to buy face moisturizer and the young girl at counter said, "Lets find something for mature skin." And then Security had to escort me.