@d_whitehouse: My Mexican friend is lactose intolerant. No whey Jose.
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@SortaBad: "wow this rap song is good I wonder who this is" *waits literally 4 seconds* "oh there look at that he said his name how convenient"
@donjuantip: i've decided to start a new healthier lifestyle. I'm adding cranberry juice to my morning Vodka.
@better_off_dad: 'It's nice & thick...you'll have to suck pretty hard.' - Why I lost my job at the ice cream parlor.
@Diversion50: My signature move is texting "There in 5" while I'm 80 miles away and embroiled in a Kung Fu Dance battle with an uncouth cattle farmer.