@Jesssicle: My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard and I'm like "Get outta here boys! I didn't get this chubby by sharing my milkshakes!"
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@TheWeirdWorld: Someday future archaeologists are going to dig up Disney World and think it was some bizarre mouse-worshiping kingdom.
@KalvinMacleod: If there's one thing children have taught me it's how to count down from 5 while pretending there's a huge consequence if I ever reach zero.
@_NTFG_: I'll tell you what's wrong with modern society. Nobody ever drinks out of the skulls of their enemies anymore.
@OhNoSheTwitnt: What do you call the yellow ones? -Yellow labs. And the black ones? -Black labs. So the brown ones are- -No we named those after dog poison.