@jonnysun: my milkshake brings all the boys to the yard / their like, is this organic? do u hav a vegan option? can u make it with froyo insted
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@Elizasoul80: [my husband turning onto our street] "know what I think?" husband: you don't have to say it everytime. "we've been down this road before"
@maughammom: Why is mild cheddar even a thing? Who are these people who can't handle sharp cheddar & why are they allowed to influence the cheese market?
@KalvinMacleod: CAT 911: what’s the emergency? CAT: I can see a bird outside our clear wall CAT 911: you mean a window? CAT: no it’s definitely a bird
@InternetHippo: Store Clerk: Happy holidays Me (angrily): Merry…CHRISTMAS Clerk (even angrier): SEASON’S GREETINGS [we just start choking each other]