@UNTRESOR: My milkshake brought a colony of extremely aggressive fire ants to my yard. :(
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@stephenjmolloy: Doctor: "Well, Mrs Jones, you are eating for two now!" Kate: "I'm pregnant?!" Doctor: "No. You have a tapeworm."
@LionJenkins: Friendly advice: Don't compare your girlfriend to an avocado. Even if she IS the good kind of fat.
@Ivsy01: If he asks you to be his girlfriend say yes and then hide from him so he can never break up with you.